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<channel>
	<title>O p e n J e s u s . o r g</title>
	
	<link>http://www.openjesus.org</link>
	<description>words of wisdom from your personal Lord and Savior</description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:38:23 +0000</pubDate>
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	<language>en</language>
			<atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/openjesus" type="application/rss+xml" /><feedburner:feedFlare xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" href="http://add.my.yahoo.com/rss?url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.feedburner.com%2Fopenjesus" src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/my/addtomyyahoo4.gif">Subscribe with My Yahoo!</feedburner:feedFlare><feedburner:feedFlare xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" href="http://www.netvibes.com/subscribe.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.feedburner.com%2Fopenjesus" src="http://www.netvibes.com/img/add2netvibes.gif">Subscribe with Netvibes</feedburner:feedFlare><feedburner:feedFlare xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" href="http://fusion.google.com/add?feedurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.feedburner.com%2Fopenjesus" src="http://buttons.googlesyndication.com/fusion/add.gif">Subscribe with Google</feedburner:feedFlare><item>
		<title>You are (mostly) all going to Hell</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/you-are-all-mostly-going-to-hell/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/you-are-all-mostly-going-to-hell/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:45:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hell]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[research]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[studies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=568</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s always fun after you&#8217;ve been saying something over and over and over for a while for a really well-done report or study to come out confirming the things you&#8217;ve been saying all along. Like when you found the link between Al-Qaeda and Iraq, or that all muslims supported 9/11, or learned only after allowing [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/you-are-all-mostly-going-to-hell/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What Obama’s win means for the Apocalypse</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/what-obamas-win-means-for-the-apocalypse/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/what-obamas-win-means-for-the-apocalypse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:31:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Heavenly Precedent]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[antichrist]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[apocalypse]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[damned]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[end-times]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[lawsuit]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[moses]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[satan]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[terrorist]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=542</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Well, it&#8217;s been a crazy week. Between packing up campaign offices from Heaven City to Dallas, giving the reassuring word to hundreds of millions of people soon to be made destitute and socialist against their wills, and trying to keep God and Moses from bringing the Apocalypse upon you, this has been one hell of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/what-obamas-win-means-for-the-apocalypse/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jesus answers your emails (part 4)</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-4/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-4/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Feedbacking the Masses]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[answer prayers]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[confessional]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[email]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=524</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hello true believers! For those of you who have stuck around through my limited updates as I work diligently to see John McCain elected to lead you all closer to Heaven, I would first like to ensure you that I have no intention of leaving you (again), and have a very special surprise waiting for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-4/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>10 reasons Sarah Palin should quit</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/10-reasons-sarah-palin-should-quit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/10-reasons-sarah-palin-should-quit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:31:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[10 This and 10 That]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[damned to hell]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[idiot]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mccain]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Palin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[stupid]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[whore]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=506</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m sure most of you know by now that I have joined the McCain/Palin campaign in an official capacity. It&#8217;s been a very trying time for me and my staff, both because John McCain is a very sick man requiring almost constant miraculous intervention to continue speaking coherently, and because Sarah Palin is the single [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/10-reasons-sarah-palin-should-quit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jesus needs $700 billion dollars</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-needs-700-billion-dollars/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-needs-700-billion-dollars/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Sep 2008 04:52:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Heavenly Precedent]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[bailout]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[bastards]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[billions]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blame obama]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[broke]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=481</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Children, Heaven is in dire straits. We have come to rely on your gracious and constant outpouring of large donations to maintain our Holy infrastructure, but offerings have dried up in recent months. Heaven is facing a severe liquidity crisis. We need an immediate $700 billion dollars in tithes or else we face the certain [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-needs-700-billion-dollars/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shoot a 14 year old in the back, go to Heaven</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/shoot-a-14-year-old-in-the-back-go-to-heaven/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/shoot-a-14-year-old-in-the-back-go-to-heaven/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 01:57:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[A Jesus Jackpot]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jackpot]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[justice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[shotgun]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[texas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=468</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am not normally the kind of deity who condones a great deal of killing and murder (except of course in the case of muslims), but a funny little story out of Texas got my attention this morning, and I&#8217;m compelled to give out my first Jesus Jackpot in a while. Jose Luis Gonzalez is [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/shoot-a-14-year-old-in-the-back-go-to-heaven/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why John McCain must win</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/why-mccain-must-win/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/why-mccain-must-win/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:05:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mccain]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Palin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[prayers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=450</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Can you believe that it has been almost two months since last we spoke? I haven&#8217;t intervened in any lives, answered any prayers, or even been made aware of any of your problems since early August. The McCain campaign has me and my entire staff running ragged lately, and God has made it clear that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/why-mccain-must-win/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>God grant us gas</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/god-grant-us-gas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/god-grant-us-gas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:01:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=445</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you feeling it yet? Are the high gas prices finally getting your attention? I hear from a lot of these days. &#8220;Jesus, please make gas cheaper; Jesus, oil costs too much; Jesus, I need a new car.&#8221; You&#8217;re even gathering at gas stations to thank God for the recent dip in prices. It&#8217;s not [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/god-grant-us-gas/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It’s not a church shooting if it’s not a real church</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/its-not-a-church-shooting-if-its-not-a-real-church/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/its-not-a-church-shooting-if-its-not-a-real-church/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:37:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hate crime]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[heavenly justice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[murder]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[shotgun]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[unitarian]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[universalist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=442</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been getting prayers from people non stop since that guy walked into the Uniterian Universalist Unitard Unisex Unicard church and killed those two poor, misguided heathens. I wasn&#8217;t going to say anything about it, becuase it&#8217;s really no different than a guy walking into a crack house and shooting two innocent people, but since [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/its-not-a-church-shooting-if-its-not-a-real-church/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jesus answers your emails (part 3)</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-3/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-3/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:17:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Feedbacking the Masses]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[confessional]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[email]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=431</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome, true believers. It&#8217;s time once again for a little bit of feedback aimed directly at some of you who have been stalwart enough to send me your prayers via email. I know it can&#8217;t be easy for you to look past the methods you&#8217;ve been using to talk to me for the large majority [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/jesus-answers-your-emails-part-3/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
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