Evolution vs. Creation

On the origin of Man by Jesus Christ

In the Beginning, God created all that is. This we know from Genesis. God made man in His own image and gave man all of the gifts of the flesh which He possessed. At the time of the dawn of man, and for some time after, all of the people on Earth looked the same. But exactly what did that sameness look like? Scholars have long debated the question, specifically referencing the obvious differences in human traits such as skin color and facial features. One commonly-held belief, and the answer I?ve heard given by Christians more than any other to these quetions, suggests that God made man from dirt, and the differences in skin colors and other physical attributes has more to do with the varying colors of soil from which you were created than any evolutionary or climate-related variances. It has also been suggested that God made all of the individual subsets of the human species Himself, though this argument, however valiantly defended, suggests that not everyone could then be in God?s image. It also contradicts Genesis, which is a bad way to begin the Bible.

From the other side of fence comes evolution, which explains that these same variances are the results of millions upon millions of years of adaptation and modification. Furthermore, many evolutionists suggest that all humans share a common ancestor in the monkey, from which your intelligence and capabilities evolved. Of course this has Christians angry, and rightfully so. How can you all be part of God?s own image if you evolved from apes, right? The answer might just shock you.

So the stage has been set for quite some time now, and the arguments and evidence on both sides of the issue have become substantially more robust than can be described within the confines of such a small thing as the Internet. That the debate between evolution and creation has reached such a fevered pitch, particularly in America, proves that the matter is misunderstood by virtually everyone involved. On one side we have Christians, who are absolutely correct in their stance suggesting that God created humans in His image and that the variations in your species are a result of His Divine Will; on the other side are evolutionists, who counter with evidence supporting the theory that humans evolved from monkeys and as a result developed such variances to account for climatological and other environmental variables. Both sides have evidence. Both sides have proof. Both sides are certain that they?re correct.

And more importantly, both sides are correct. Evolution and creation are not mutually exclusive doctrines, as is suggested by virtually every living person, but can be more aptly described as being complimentary to one another. It is indeed possible, and moreover it is quite true, that evolution and creation coexist. God made you all in His image, but that is not the image you have retained while on Earth. You have all evolved into what He intended you to evolve into. You are no longer the spitting image of the Almighty, but are instead now merely a close relative. Genetically there is little difference between you and God, but upon closer inspection you would find that there is as much of a physical difference between you and He as, well, you and a monkey.

It should come as no surprise then to discover that you have all been altered in your time on Earth. Just as Dad planned the rise of empires and the migration of the masses from rural farming communities to dense cities, He modified your physical attributes to accommodate the settings in which you all live. It may appear quite natural, but then evolution often does. You have been through a number of changes since your creation, and you are still undergoing minor updates and tweaks to this day. As your civilizations evolve so will your minds and bodies, and all in accordance with the Plan laid out by God before time even existed.

Let?s just be honest about it for a minute, if we can. I know what you?re about to learn will shock a great many of you, and I?ll potentially be called a heretic or blasphemer myself for even suggesting such an obvious truth, but with openness comes responsibility, right? Or at least that?s what I keep telling myself. Either way, here?s the answer to all of the your evolution versus creation questions.

God is a monkey.

No kidding, He?s a silverback who stands just seven feet tall in His normal form. Of course He can take on any form He wishes, and let me tell you, He?s been through a whooooole bunch of different bodies over the eternity He?s been up here, but He really prefers the monkey body. He thrives in it, you see, and for obvious reasons. The monkey form is superior in many ways to anything else available. One can walk either upright or on all fours, mobility is not restricted to the horizontal plane, but can additionally incorporate vertical climbing and maneuvering, and the strength inherent in a monkey?s body is quite unmatched. Plus He can scratch anywhere.

So when God made all of you in His form, it was the form that He happened to be in at that time. With so many forms from which to choose it?s a little insulting to Him that you all assume that He?s a human just because you are. The truth is that He only assumes the form you all take now when He wants to make fun of you. And even if He had created you all in some modern human form which was supposed to look exactly as He did at the time, you?d likely all appear Middle Eastern today. Is that what you want, everyone on the planet looking like they?re from Iran?

But I know what you?re all saying. ?Jesus, evolution and creation can?t coexist, the dates are just too far off.? This is true, but there?s a perfectly rational explanation for all of that. The process by which you date things is most obviously flawed. When you find a jaw bone, for example, and get to studying it you might discover that it belonged to a creature very similar to you as a modern human, and as a result you may place this jawbone as belonging to an evolutionary predecessor. The problem occurs when you carbon or otherwise date that jaw bone and find yourselves believing it to be millions of years old.

The truth is that Dad placed you on Earth as monkeys, and over the span of a few thousand years has made numerous adjustments and modifications to your forms and your minds. Cro-Magnon, Neanderthal, and all of those other evolutionary footsteps did in fact exist, and were simply God?s early children. As time has gone on you have been tweaked by God less and less, mostly because He has learned to use a softer touch. Remember, even God was new at this whole creation and benevolent overseer thing when He first began by creating light just over six thousand years ago. His first updates, Man 2.0 you might say, were pretty sweeping. The leap from monkey to human was God?s first test of His newly-invented Evolutionary Engine, and He has since become much more comfortable with its operation. This same point explains the vastness of space too – God wanted a nice, big canvas upon which to create, and He went just a little bigger than was necessary.

To recap, God is a monkey who created man in His image (as monkeys) a little more than six thousand years ago. As man exited the Garden of Eden and began to populate and build permanent settlements, Dad made changes and introduced test features into some of you to determine the most robust form for the given environment. This of course introduced what you now see as permanent variations such as skin color and facial structure. This process of Holy Modification is often cited as proof of evolution due to the existence of skeletal remains and other fossilized remnants of early Christians. Carbon dating and other scientific methods used to build a timeline of human evolution, while technically correct about the actual evolutionary path, are not even remotely logical in terms of years. Some estimates place the whole of human evolution on a scale of several hundred million years, a number exponentially larger than the few thousand years Earth has existed.

So the next time someone tells you that evolution is correct, go ahead and inform them that Jesus says otherwise. Likewise, if someone proclaims evolution to be false because God created man, do your part to set them straight. Evolution and creation are both very real, and are both jointly responsible for getting you as a species to where you are today. That God is behind them both is the point I want all of you to really take away from our lesson today. Well, that and the fact that Dad is a monkey.

*Monkey photo by Matthew Hoelscher | Original Image