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"We have enough votes to run the country. And when the people say, 'We've had enough,' we are going to take over." ~Pat Robertson

Our new starting safety

Posted by Jesus on November 27, 2007

You’ve probably heard about the death of Sean Taylor already this morning. Your “news” outlets are unbelievably capable of delivering up-to-the-minute reports on the status of professional football players and celebrities. It’s funny how they don’t do the same for your soldiers getting blown up in any of your various combat zones. On one hand we have brave men and women putting themselves in harm’s way to kill muslim heathens on your behalf, and on the other we have people who make you laugh or cheer now and again. Which one do you really think is more important?

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The New England Patriots are going to Hell

Posted by Jesus on September 11, 2007

There’s not a lot of things God hates more than cheating. Fags, murder, money, muslims, and perhaps Nascar. Past that, little compares to cheating. And as much as God hates cheating, He hates cheating in things that maintain a delicate social balance even more. I’ve even spoken about it here before (sports are supposed to be fair because nothing else in America is). For such a colossal screwup, we’ve decided to levy a harsh punishment on the entire Patriots organization. All of them, from owner Robert Kraft down to the guy who cleans mud out of the cleats.

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Jesus loves a good hockey game

Posted by Jesus on May 30, 2007

Man, if anyone skipped Wednesday services to watch the Stanley Cup game tonight consider yourself forgiven. That was one heck of a display in each and every way. The goalies were spot-on, the hits were brutal, and the thanking of me was spectacular following the goal! If I’m missing again over the next week or so part of the reason will be the playoffs.

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Ignore the government, watch hockey!

Posted by Jesus on May 24, 2007

There’s a reason people get so worked up over sports. Within every organization, be it public, private, or government-run, there is corruption. The world is a completely and utterly unfair place, where politicians are usually elected based on lies and teeth whiteness and, once in power, prove themselves absolute scumbags by doing literally nothing that doesn’t put money in their pockets. Business executives flat-out ignore the fact that many of their products come with a toll in human lives because of the payday. Even the U.S. Federal Government, the most powerful organization on the planet Earth, is so corrupt that its citizens will likely find themselves starving, destitute, and under attack from pretty much everyone else on the planet within only a few decades. Not to worry, though, the people who actually run the corporatocracy made something like 94% of all of the money last year. When all hell breaks loose they’ll all take in as many of you as they can to ensure that no one really, you know, starves to death because of their corruption.

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