words of wisdom from your personal Lord and Savior
"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. -Leviticus 20:10
Posted by Jesus on September 29, 2008
Children, Heaven is in dire straits. We have come to rely on your gracious and constant outpouring of large donations to maintain our Holy infrastructure, but offerings have dried up in recent months. Heaven is facing a severe liquidity crisis. We need an immediate $700 billion dollars in tithes or else we face the certain and imminent collapse of many of the systems which keep all of you safe from Satan and his minions.
Posted by Moses on September 23, 2007
Hello loyal readers and seekers of His Word in Truth, this is Moses. Don?t worry, Jesus is fine, he?s just spending the day with Luciano, who as you may know is a recent arrival up here. They’re rehearsing for their performance tonight at God’s birthday party. I know what you’re thinking - God doesn’t have a birthday. You’re right, but that doesn’t stop us from celebrating it about four times per year. God is, to put it bluntly, something of a socialite, and uses every opportunity available to make everyone in Heaven visit Him on His hill.
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