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	<title>O p e n J e s u s . o r g &#187; Edits and Revelations</title>
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	<link>http://www.openjesus.org</link>
	<description>the personal blog of Jesus Christ of Nazareth</description>
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		<title>10 Christians charged with kidnapping</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2010/10-christians-charged-with-kidnapping/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2010/10-christians-charged-with-kidnapping/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:11:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crusade]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Haiti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1559</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You&#8217;ve probably heard about the 10 Baptists who tried to bring 33 Haitian children to better lives by taking them out of their own country by now. It&#8217;s pretty much the only thing HNN is talking about anymore up here, and for good reason. These 10 awesome people are now facing charges for doing exactly [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Scott Roeder wins one for America&#8217;s babies!</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/scott-roeder-wins-one-for-americas-babies/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/scott-roeder-wins-one-for-americas-babies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:46:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[War Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby killer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1206</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an unsurprising move earlier today, the family of now-dead baby-killer George Tiller announced that the clinic which saw so many of God&#8217;s own creations snuffed out, just as He had created them to be, will be permanently closed. Although I still wish God had chosen something better than a lone devout follower with a [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>God opens Heaven to fags!</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/god-opens-heaven-to-fags/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/god-opens-heaven-to-fags/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:53:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anal sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[April Fools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liberal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sodomy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1070</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I never thought I would see the day. In a stunning reversal of His own eternal, unchanging, perfect Law, God decreed today that fags will have the same opportunity to reach Heaven as Christians! We&#8217;re still receiving all of the details, but essentially this means that merely being gay is no longer a singularly damnable [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Religious defamation is a thing of the past!</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/religious-defamation-is-a-thing-of-the-past/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/religious-defamation-is-a-thing-of-the-past/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Mar 2009 02:27:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[defamation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mocking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[muslims]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1054</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The United Nations passed a non-binding resolution today which labels any religious defamation by any group or individual a human rights violation. We here in Heaven are thrilled at the ruling, as it opens the door to completely putting a stop to all forms of defamation, including, but not limited to, mockery, vilification, satire, impersonation, [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Creation and Evolution are both correct</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/creation-and-evolution-are-both-correct/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/creation-and-evolution-are-both-correct/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:20:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[catholic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[monkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=980</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It never fails to amaze me how wrong you, as a species, can be on a topic. Two thousand years ago I would never have suspected that you would split yourselves evenly on any given issue and be so very wrong on both sides! Even after I come back again from the dead and specifically [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>2008: A year in cow sex</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/2008-a-year-in-cow-sex/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/2008-a-year-in-cow-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:09:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bestiality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cow sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trends]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=718</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The old year is behind us, while 2009 spreads out before us like a Christian teenage girl at her first frat party. There&#8217;s a lot of wrath in store for Christians and heathens alike in this new year, and in time we will get to the damnation and other business. I&#8217;d like to take one [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You are (mostly) all going to Hell</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/you-are-all-mostly-going-to-hell/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/you-are-all-mostly-going-to-hell/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:45:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[research]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[studies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=568</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s always fun after you&#8217;ve been saying something over and over and over for a while for a really well-done report or study to come out confirming the things you&#8217;ve been saying all along. Like when you found the link between Al-Qaeda and Iraq, or that all muslims supported 9/11, or learned only after allowing [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What Obama&#8217;s win means for the Apocalypse</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/what-obamas-win-means-for-the-apocalypse/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/what-obamas-win-means-for-the-apocalypse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:31:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heavenly Precedent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[antichrist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apocalypse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[end-times]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lawsuit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terrorist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=542</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Well, it&#8217;s been a crazy week. Between packing up campaign offices from Heaven City to Dallas, giving the reassuring word to hundreds of millions of people soon to be made destitute and socialist against their wills, and trying to keep God and Moses from bringing the Apocalypse upon you, this has been one hell of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>God grant us gas</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/god-grant-us-gas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/god-grant-us-gas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:01:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=445</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you feeling it yet? Are the high gas prices finally getting your attention? I hear from a lot of these days. &#8220;Jesus, please make gas cheaper; Jesus, oil costs too much; Jesus, I need a new car.&#8221; You&#8217;re even gathering at gas stations to thank God for the recent dip in prices. It&#8217;s not [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pray for brains</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/pray-for-brains/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2008/pray-for-brains/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:16:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/2008/pray-for-brains/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Loyal reader and devout Christian Fred Chaff forwarded me an article last night that explains a lot. All week long I&#8217;ve been getting these weird prayers about kids in a school somewhere in Florida who need help passing tests. Apparently when you pay your teachers squat, teach kids the answers to standardized tests instead of [...]]]></description>
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