Why fags shouldn’t have kids

Posted by Jesus on June 23, 2009

My children, a great injustice has been done in Georgia. In what will unquestionably go down as one of the single worst decisions in the history of world jurisprudence, the Georgia Supreme Court has decided that the children of a man who chose late in his life to defy God and live a life of filthy, abhorrent sexual deviance should be allowed to spend even one further second with his children! I haven’t wept like this in years. I can’t even sit uninterested and apathetic from the sideline and watch the events unfolding in Iran anymore I’m so bothered by this.

I shouldn’t have to explain to any of you why fags shouldn’t have children, even if they did previously happen to be the biological parent. Their past years of normal, compassionate nurturing mean absolutely nothing at the very instance that they turn themselves away from God and accept their share of what are thought to be millions of filthy, lube-bearing, anonymous monkey partners. How could anyone want children raised in that environment?

Luckily there are champions in this cause, and a single defeat does not conclude the war. The children in this particular case are done for; there’s no doubt whatsoever that they’ll both turn out liberal hippie douchebag fags themselves, and one of them is statistically certain to be a truck-driving serial killer who performs rest-stop abortions for beer money on the side. There’s just no helping that now.

But don’t take my word for it though, let me introduce you to God’s warrior in this battle, Matt Barber of Liberty Counsel!

From the article:

“Obviously it is not in the best interest of a child to be taken by his father and introduced to a group of people who are engaging in abhorrent sexual behaviors, who are modeling abhorrent sexual behaviors and celebration of that [which is] demonstrably dangerous from a medical, spiritual, and emotional standpoint — modeling those behaviors for the child,” Barber adds.

How much more succinctly could it possibly be said? Matt clearly has his head on his shoulders and is thinking with the help of God in this matter. He’s done his homework, too. Matt knows, as I do, that there is not one single fag out there who maintains a stable, loving relationship with their partner, who does not absolutely relish the opportunity to have filthy butt sex in front of children, and who does not practice the open worship of every god who has ever existed except my Dad. Matt even seems to get the medical risks associated with putting things in the exit hole of what is biologically one of the filthiest places He created. That one’s kind of a given though. God even made it smell really bad, a clear indication that He did not want your nose or your “little Jesus” any closer than you have to necessarily get it to create…well, a little Jesus.

But I want to be completely fair in this matter, which means the Court should be heard as well. Fairness is a all the rage right now in Heaven, everybody’s trying it and starting to do some fun and creative stuff with it. Of course God and most of the older folks up here aren’t getting involved, but it’s still neat to try new things now and then anyway. So here’s a dose of fairness. The Court respondeth thusly:

From another article:

“The blanket prohibition against exposure of the children to members of the gay and lesbian community who are acquainted with husband is another matter,” says today’s opinion. “There is no evidence in the record before us that any member of the excluded community has engaged in inappropriate conduct in the presence of the children or that the children would be adversely affected by exposure to any member of that community.”

What really scares me is that a court which is supposed to be made up of intelligent, reasonable, and presumably fair people couldn’t think of one good reason to be used as “evidence” in keeping the fag dad and his kids well apart. We’re talking about the well-being of children here. You don’t need to play a secretly videotaped orgy in one of his many lovers’ homes to know what’s going on over there. Any decent, Fox News-watching, Church-attending, Old Testament-reading Christian can tell you the type of abhorrent behavior happening at all hours of the day and night around Mr. Mongerson. The court could have called virtually any good Christian to the stand in this case and had all the evidence they needed, but somehow decided to leave God’s opinion out of this case. How fair is that, huh?

At least I’m fair, my children, or at least I will be until the current fad ends or Dad gets tired of it and decrees it ended. We all know it’s not going to last forever, but you can at least count on it lasting a little longer. He’s been in a particularly good mood lately though, so I’d say there’s some limited reason to get used to it. Unless you’re in Iran. Nothing’s fair over there, man. Nothing.

Umm, yeah, the technical stuff. Matt Barber gets a Jesus Jackpot and the associated free pass into Heaven for being such a great warrior for God, and the Georgia Supreme Court is damned to Hell for codifying a violation of God’s law outside of the mandatory stonings all around.

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