Scott Roeder wins one for America’s babies!
Posted by Jesus on June 9, 2009
In an unsurprising move earlier today, the family of now-dead baby-killer George Tiller announced that the clinic which saw so many of God’s own creations snuffed out, just as He had created them to be, will be permanently closed. Although I still wish God had chosen something better than a lone devout follower with a gun to carry out His Will in this case, this development does certainly speak to His continued effectiveness, even if His ways don’t seem quite as mysterious as we’ve grown accustomed to in recent years.
Most surprising has been the reaction from the evil communist sympathizers on the far left, who continue to demand that charges of terrorism be leveled against Roeder. What so many of these liberals don’t seem to understand is that terrorists can only be people working for a god who isn’t real, like allah, zeus, or woden. Anyone operating under the guidance of God Himself simply can’t be considered a terrorist. Had Scott Roeder killed Dr. Tiller in the name of allah as opposed to God there would be no debate. He would be caught, tortured, forced to confess to being a member of Al Quaeda, and held in captivity under terrible conditions for years and years before being set free, mad and broken, in an unfriendly foreign land. And he would deserve it, too, were he a muslim as opposed to a Christian. Lucky for him, right? Even luckier for us!
Scott himself is, of course, thrilled that his actions prompted the permanent closure of Tiller’s clinic, as are literally every good Christian around the world. In fact, rarely has Heaven ever seen so much fan mail than in the past week! Here at OpenJesus.org I’ve probably received at least a hundred emails from concerned Christians requesting that I award Scott a Jesus Jackpot and grant him immediate entrance into Heaven, but God won’t let me do that just yet. Apparently He has yet more plans in place for our hero.
The closure of Dr. Tiller’s clinic should be a warning to all heathens in America. Christianity will not be tolerant to those who do not accept and adhere absolutely to those values promoted by the Church. Christians will not “live and let live.” Christians will not allow independence, self-expression, or divergence from a rigorous standard. That is not what I, Jesus, would have promoted when I walked among you, and it’s not to be promoted by my followers today.
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person said,
You are absolutly insane. One of Gods ten commandments is Thall shalt not Kill.
That man is just as bad as any murderer rapist terrorist. And you, sir, are just as crazy as any extremist for this negative propaganda. God also said that he is the one true God and not to blasphm his name. Well claiming you are Jesus is blasphmy. wow dude you need to be locked up.
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