Even Jesus quoted the Old Testament
Posted by Jesus on April 3, 2009
There’s a growing trend among Christians that has been really bothering God. For about the last thousand years a fast-spreading and excessively liberal splinter of Christianity has been teaching that Old Testament laws, such as those dealing with shellfish, child killing, fags, and planting crops have not applied since I came to Earth and redeemed you all. Today I’m going to use the simplest evidence of all – my own words – to prove that every single person who believes such a fallacy is going permanently to the fiery consumes of Hell.
It’s sad that many atheists speak more truth from the Old Testament than Christians these days. When asked questions such as “why don’t you stone your kids?” or “is that shellfish you’re eating?” by atheists, a great many Christians reply with some drivel like “that was old Jewish law, and since Jesus came back he established a new covenant that freed us from that!”
Poppycock.
You are as responsible for adhering absolutely to the Old Testament today as your ancestors were thousands of years ago. How you can believe any different is absolutely beyond me. But don’t take my blogged word for it! Let’s see what I had to say in the Bible about absolute adherence to the Old Testament.
From the Bible:
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. -Matthew 5:17-18
Do you see that? Not one jot or tittle in God’s Law changes until the end of the world. Powerful stuff. There’s more though. Much, much more. In fact, I spoke so much about the Old Testament while walking among you that to ignore its wisdom today is to admit to never having read my words. You can’t claim to know what I said and still think the Old Testament no longer applies.
More from the Bible:
Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed. In that day, he which shall be upon the housetop, and his stuff in the house, let him not come down to take it away: and he that is in the field, let him likewise not return back. Remember Lot’s wife. -Luke 17:28-32
Let’s see a Christian talk their way out of this one. Here I am, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, your one true Lord and Savior, specifically talking about an Old Testament incident. Not just any incident, either – this is the big one. Sodom. Homosexual butt sex. Pillars of salt. God even specifically asked me to reinforce this one while I was among you, which I clearly did, but somehow most of you still find a way to pretend it never happened. I can’t wait to see how far that imagination gets you all in Hell.
More from the Bible:
And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? -Mark 20:24
If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of my supposed followers suggest that Old Testament law stopped applying when I redeemed you all there would be no further need for you to tithe. Heaven’s coffers would not be permanently barren, 
but would instead be overflowing with nickels of ignorance from the pockets of those who pretend to believe in me but do not read or follow the Bible. I don’t get a nickel every time a Christian ignores the Old Testament, though. I just have to damn one of you.
It’s just like I asked the Sadducees in the aforementioned excerpt from Mark 20. Are you failing as Christians because you don’t understand the Old Testament and God’s ultimate power over your eternal lives?
The answer is the same today as when I taught it in the New Testament. Yes. Yes, you are failing because you do not follow God’s Law.
But there is hope! Right now there are over 65 million kids in serious need of stoning around the world, and only Christians can carry out God’s Judgment.
Stone a child today. If not for yourself, do it for Jesus.
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Lola said,
[It's still legal - and always God-honoring - to air messages like the following. (See Ezekiel 3:18-19.) In light of government backing of raunchy behavior (such offenders were even executed in early America!), maybe the separation we really need is the "separation of raunch and state"!]
In Luke 17 in the New Testament, Jesus said that one of the big “signs” that will happen shortly before His return to earth as Judge will be a repeat of the “days of Lot” (see Genesis 19 for details). So gays are actually helping to fulfill this same worldwide “sign” (and making the Bible even more believable!) and thus hurrying up the return of the Judge! They are accomplishing what many preachers haven’t accomplished! Gays couldn’t have accomplished this by just coming out of closets into bedrooms. Instead, they invented new architecture – you know, closets opening on to Main Streets where little kids would be able to watch naked men having sex with each other at festivals in places like San Francisco (where their underground saint – San Andreas – may soon get a big jolt out of what’s going on over his head!). Thanks, gays, for figuring out how to bring back our resurrected Saviour even quicker!
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