Once a whore, always a whore

Posted by Jesus on February 28, 2008

There are certain things that one should not pray about. One should not ask me to help in a criminal or sexual pursuit, nor a game of chance, or even a tough situation resulting from egregious sin such as in the case teenage pregnancy. Some topics are just not appropriate to bring to me, your moral leader and personal Lord and Savior. One of these is the concept of “revirginization.” Once you’ve screwed around and lost your virginity you simply cannot get it back, not matter how hard you pray or how much you spend on surgery. Of course that’s not stopping some women from trying, nor is it getting in the way of some so-called Christians who think they can rewrite their own past to cheat their way into Heaven.

From the article:

Victoria Watts, a 23-year-old single mother of two small children who lives in Canton, Ohio, lost her virginity at 16 with her high school boyfriend.

She was the granddaughter of a Pentecostalist pastor and the daughter of an assistant pastor, and she believed sex outside marriage was wrong. “I felt really bad from a religious standpoint,” she recalls of the experience. “My thoughts were really clouded because I was so emotionally bonded with my boyfriend. That overshadowed my religious world.”

So Watts engaged in a lot of prayer and thought, and now declares herself a virgin once again. “The most important thing was to realize what my values were and what I want in the future and the bigger goals in my life,” she says. “That’s why I can call myself a renewed virgin.”

I’ll admit, Victoria did pray a lot about that. What she doesn’t realize is that no one was listening. She’s a whore and a sinner, and although we were willing to forgive her transgressions she hasn’t been granted a free pass back to the “before sex” stage of her life. Just because someone prays and thinks about a topic a lot doesn’t automatically make them correct in their conclusions. If she had recognized her values earlier she might not have run off and had two children out of wedlock and thus wouldn’t be in this position.

Her future husband has it even worse though. I hope he knows better than to marry an unclean woman, as he will otherwise face eternal punishment for his oversight. It doesn’t really matter how many times his wife claims to be a virgin, he’ll know it’s not true. I know it’s not true. Even Victoria, deep down inside her deluded and pained mind, knows it’s not true.

More from the article:

“Have you already unwrapped the priceless gift of virginity and given it away?” asks the Web site for the Pregnancy Resource Center of Northeast Ohio, where Watts began working part-time after she reclaimed her virginity. “Do you now feel like ’second-hand goods’ and no longer worthy to be cherished? Do you ever wish you could re-wrap it and give it only to your future husband or wife? Guess what…? You can decide today to commit to abstinence, wrapping a brand-new gift of virginity to present to your husband or wife on your wedding night.”

The fact that some women believe they are able to recapture a kind of sexually virginal state underlines the idea that virginity is not nearly the black-and-white issue most of us think, that it has come to be as much a concept as a fact.

As much concept as fact? Are you kidding me? I don’t usually lean toward rudeness, but let me make this abundantly clear for all of my young Christian readers. If you put your penis into any vagina, or inversely if your vagina is penetrated by any penis, then you are no longer a virgin, and you never will be again. No do-overs, no mulligans, no surgeries, no spiritual guidance, nothing will bring back what you had before you chose to commit the act of sex. The only possible way to maintain your virginity is not to penetrate or be penetrated.

Even if you recommit yourself to abstinence, as the website above suggests, you still can’t claim to be a virgin. Are we next going to suggest that a murderer who agrees to never kill again is no longer a murderer? Is a child-molester who swears off fondling children no longer a pervert? Certainly not. Once a murderer, always a murderer. Once a molester, always a molester. Once a whore, always a whore.

The upside is that you can be forgiven for having sex before marriage, and in reality the act weighs very little on your Heavenly entrance application. God knows that you’re emotional creatures - He made you that way - and He knows that you’re prone to making mistakes. He forgives murderers, thieves, and even whores every day. But if you come around pretending to be something that you’re not, choosing instead to deny the reality of your sins by engaging in technicalities and surgeries, then you are essentially mocking God Himself, who does not take well to such things.

Even more from the article:

If the idea of virginity as a state of mind sounds like the language of actors coming out rehab, it’s no coincidence, says Carpenter.

“In America there is the idea of the remade person,” she explains. “We are all in an endless state of becoming. You can remake yourself. That has been deeply ingrained in the culture for a long time. So why not virginity? Why not sexuality?”

Of course, there is also a double edge to that sword. “To some people, remakability is precisely what cheapens the thing in first place,” Carpenter says. “Virginity is not special if you can be a virgin again.”

That is exactly my point. What incentive is there to maintain your virginity if you know you can just go get a few stitches and get it back? The whole concept is similar to the “I’ll sin all I want, then just ask Jesus for forgiveness” line. The vast majority of you live under that delusion now, and we already know where that’s getting you. Maybe once you’re in Hell you can start to think about remaking yourself again as a good Christian next time around. Run that by Satan, see if he’s nice enough to let you out of your eternal torment to take a shot at a do-over.

For the record, Victoria Watts is going to Hell, as are all of the people with whom she works at the Pregnancy Resource Center of Northeast Ohio. They are openly proclaiming a mockery of God, and in doing so are denying His very existence. Were they truly to know and believe in Him, they would understand that they have sinned and that the only way to gain salvation is to admit their sins, be truly sorry for them, and to ask me to have them erased. Instead, however, they are going through counseling and surgery to undo what has been done. They are pretending that God didn’t see their deed, and that they really can be made pure again.

It is a sad thing to witness, because people like Victoria, no matter how hard they work to deny it, are fucked.

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