Dinosaurs and the Bible

Posted by Jesus on July 10, 2008

About two thousand years ago I saw my first dinosaur close up. I was five years old, and Joseph was taking me with him to his Fraternal Brotherhood of the Mammoth meeting a couple of towns over. We were no more than a few miles outside of town, where civilization gives way to small farms and evenly-spaced roadside inns, when I spotted the beast on the horizon. Within hours we were surrounded by literally hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of gargantuan animals. It was the age of man. It was the age of Jesus. And it was the age of the dinosaur.

The Bible mentions definitively that man and dinosaur lived side-by-side, which to a Christian simply makes that fact true regardless of how much “evidence” science can muster to the contrary. Job 40:15-24 speaks of the behemoth, which has bones akin to iron, moves his tail like a cedar, and eats grass. Psalms 104:25,26 and Isaiah 27:1 put forth a monster with terrible teeth, a fierce demeanor, and the ability to breathe fire. The Bible not only describes dinosaurs, but actually takes the time to distinguish between the herbivores, omnivores, and the fire-breathers. How could it possibly not be true?!

Let’s face it, the Earth is six thousand years old. God says so. If you say otherwise, you’re going against God, and if you’re going against God then you will watch your flesh bubble and drip from your bones for the remainder of all eternity. No one disputes that dinosaurs existed, but there are those poor, misguided souls who believe that they existed over a 180 million year span of time which began some quarter-billion years ago and ended somewhere around sixty million years ago. To put that in context, these nutcase “scientists” claim that the dinosaurs completely died off 10,000 times longer ago than the Earth was even made. If their “science” books were right about when the dinosaurs lived, then why don’t they show mister velociraptor floating around in empty space, where he would have been that many millions of years ago?

Many people find it hard to believe that dinosaurs lived alongside man during the early part of Earth’s tenure as God’s pet project, and I’ve heard some pretty reasonable arguments to support this lack of faith. To be fair to those who find it difficult to live as God intended, which of course includes suppressing independent thought and imagination in favor of a life based on acceptance of Biblical fact, I’ve decided to discuss a few of these arguments today.

First, there are those who claim that carbon-dating and other such tests definitively prove the Earth’s age to be in the billions of years. This is, of course, complete poppycock. When God made Earth He placed artifacts which long outdated Earth within her soil for you to find and enjoy, just like He set the light from faraway stars well along on its travel to you. Remember that God is incredibly kind and giving (as well as horrifying and petty). Does it really come as any surprise that He gave you interesting lights in the sky at which to direct your marvel or little trinkets which appear to be ancient for you to appreciate? The legion of scientists who claim that both Earth and dinosaurs existed more than six thousand years ago are completely wrong. Anyone who reads the Bible or goes to Church knows that.

Second, I often get asked about oil. Science teaches you that dinosaurs and other carbon-based material such as plants and early humans were transformed into oil over millions of years through decomposition and pressure. This simply cannot be true given the known age of the Earth, but that doesn’t mean that scientists aren’t on to something with this supposition. The truth is that carbon-based material would turn to oil if it had enough time to do so. God knows this too, just as He knew you would be burning oil long before you had the requisite millions of years for your dead to become such, so He placed vast reserves on Earth to accommodate you in the short term, and further accelerated the decay of those dinosaurs which lived recently. The oil you’re using now is a combination of what was created along with the Earth and millions of dinosaurs which have decayed at two million times the normal, natural speed. It’s a modern-day miracle, but don’t tell God I told you so.

Third, some people claim that if dinosaurs did exist alongside man in Biblical times, then there would be far more accounts of them in the pages of the most important book ever written. While this comes across as a sound argument in principle, when reason is applied one cannot help but find the answer quite obvious. There were far fewer people around two thousand years ago, and most dinosaurs lived in relatively uninhabited areas. Even still, they were ubiquitous enough that everyone alive at the time simply accepted them as part of the natural world and paid little heed to the great beasts. Imagine, if you will, the total number of dinosaurs that scientists say lived on Earth over almost two hundred million years. Now put all of those dinosaurs on Earth in the span of just under five thousand years. It’s roughly the same as the number of light bulbs on the planet right now, but you don’t see everyone running around writing about lamps, do you?

Finally, I often get asked whether or not dinosaurs actually breathed fire. The answer is really quite obvious; the Bible says that some dinosaurs breathed fire, and so some of them clearly did just that. I’ve said it here before - God started Earth as an experimental place. He created you in His image, which is to say that humans started out as monkeys. Over thousands of years you have changed according to His plan. The same can be said for the dinosaurs. Many of them spewed fire, according to His original design, and when that ceased to entertain Him they simply lost that ability.

I hope that these clarifications will help to put some of you back on track to redemption, because there is a great deal of misinformation about the Earth and the dinosaurs which comes across as completely reasonable. The work of Satan often does. It is the Bible which you should be turning to when you are in need of answers, and if that fails remember that I’m only a prayer or an email away, and I’m always happy to answer any of your questions.

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