The lessons you fail to learn

Posted by Jesus on December 6, 2007

Have any of you ever really considered the true meaning of Christmas? Not that made-up pretend crap about baby Jesus and the manger and stars and wise men, but the corporate-driven pagan ritualistic shopping season thrust on you by popes, presidents, and sociopaths. In the Bible, at no point are you told to celebrate my birth. Yet you do, and in a manner which is wholly consistent with everything Satan stands for. Materialism. Greed. Spite. Sloth. Vanity. The price of your insolence is death, and through the month of December we’re going to deliver it.

Most of you are aware of the shooting in Nebraska yesterday. A man walked into a mall in Omaha and killed eight before turning the gun on himself. Like everything else that happens on the planet, both good or bad, Robert Hawkins going on a killing spree during a busy holiday shopping season was an act of God. Your Supreme Creator and Lord of Everything is growing more tired of your heathen ways, and He took action yesterday to inform you of His displeasure. Robert was born nineteen years ago for the sole purpose of killing eight people yesterday. His entire life, as short as it may seem, was dedicated in full to the events which took place in that crowded mall. One cannot know God and accept anything else as the truth. God created Robert Hawkins to kill eight of you, and He has created thousands, if not millions of others for that same purpose.

We’re really busy right now, what with all of you praying for new Nintendo systems and puppies for Christmas, but rest assured that each and every one of you who calls upon Heaven to deliver unto you a gift according to this pagan custom is going to face God’s wrath soon enough. Not everyone is going to be met with a sign so potent as the one delivered in Omaha, but you’re all nonetheless going to be given the chance to see the folly of your ways. You have absolutely no idea how many half-dead trees are going to catch on fire this year.

To me that has always been the most fitting message. You buy a tree which specifically represents a custom tied directly to a pre-Christian pagan ritual, then put gifts under it which are supposed to represent the gifts given to me by the Three Wise Men. First of all, the wise men gave me gifts in the middle of Spring, and second of all, to give gifts to remember my birth is to miss the point entirely. So I’m going to burn stuff down. Hundreds, if not thousands of trees. And if you’re not one of the people getting shot at in a mall or flooded out of your home or standing outside at Christmas watching your house burn to the ground, then know that your punishment hasn’t yet come.

God is working overtime on this though. Just stick around for a while, and your opportunity to see the Work of God will be at hand.

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