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"When I, or people like me, are running the country, you'd better flee, because we will find you, we will try you, and we'll execute you." ~Randall Terry

Somebody tried to scam Jesus!

Posted by Jesus on May 31, 2007

I got a telephone call today in my office, which in and of itself is kind of weird. My phone never really rings, so it took me a minute to find it and answer. When I finally did I was notified that “due to the changing laws I should be notified about domain changes” and asked for my fax number so that a company called Domain Registry Support could send me some data. Instead of giving them my number, however, I saved the nice lady’s soul on the other end of the phone. That got me thinking…

I’m sure a lot more of you have gotten their calls and/or their letters and faxes. What these criminals do is send out very legal and official-looking notices about domains you either don’t own or have registered elsewhere asking for money to bring them up to date. It’s a scam. Telling these people you’re going to file a complaint if you’re on the Do Not Call registry or threatening to take action against their junk faxes does little, as they’re just blatant crooks.

If you ask nicely to be removed from their list they have to remove you by law might give you a telephone number – 800-591-7398. For those of you looking for a laugh, call this number and asked to be removed from their list. They’ll ask you for your fax or telephone number, and about a second and a half after you’ve tossed out the last digit they’ll claim it’s done. Now I’m up here in Heaven, where things happen at the speed of Divine Will, and not even I can get you off a mailing list that quickly. And if you need further proof that these people are in total and absolute violation of your laws in the U.S.A., ask them to read you back that number after they’ve pulled you off their “list.” That’s assuming they haven’t hung up by then. In a totally unrelated series of events, three of their call center employees died of mysterious circumstances earlier this afternoon.

You’re not powerless against these folks though. You can help them to see the light and change their wicked ways. What you have to do is call 800-591-7398 and choose any option you want. There might be a short hold time, after which you’ll get a person on the phone. What I need you all to do is tell these people about the great and wonderful Jesus Christ…me. Heck, tell them you’re Jesus for all I care. I told them three times that I was the Son of God and it didn’t get me any kind of special treatment. Maybe you’ll have better luck. In any case, the more time you spend saving their souls, the less time they can spend scamming people who don’t really know not to give them way too much money for domain registrations.

And don’t you think for a minute that only stupid people fall for that kind of thing. Mom has her own website with her name here and there on it, but I run all the DNS and LAMP stuff for her. If she got something like this she would immediately call me 99 out of 100 times, but the fake domain registrar criminals only have to be right once. We have to be right 100% of the time. So do your part, call them and tell them about me. Every time they send you a domain registration letter, every time they call and hang up on you, or every time they leave a mess on your fax machine, give them a quick call and pass along the Good News. If they hang up, call back. If they have a right to call you and tell you about a made-up domain registration expiration, you have every right to call them a couple of times to maybe save their eternal souls. It is, after all, what I did.

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