Rep. Bob Allen is a fag, so God hates him

Posted by Jesus on July 12, 2007

In 2000 Floridians elected a man to their House of Representatives named Bob Allen, who at the time was a likable and jolly person. They have continued to elect him since, because until recently he continued to be that same likable and jolly person. Bob Allen has changed though. He was arrested yesterday for offering a cop $20 if the undercover hero would let him perform oral sex on him. Now God hates him, and you should too.

Of course Bob says he’s not guilty, as would any man with a wife, daughter, and cushy job who just got arrested in a gay sex sting operation. Not surprisingly, he’s not going to resign his House seat either, because what fag who just got caught by cops offering another man money to also be a fag would? Resigning now would only tell everyone that it’s true. No, Bob is going to vigorously fight these charges. You know, the ones brought against him by a freaking undercover cop in some sleazy men’s room. The ineptitude and corruption of these people continues to astound even me. More surprising, however, is your allowance of these kinds of things. If you had any sense about you there would be a gang rushing his front door now to remove the daughter from the blasphemous influence of this sick individual, followed immediately by a recall election.

Just in case you didn’t read the story through, this pervert was going to pay for the honor of giving head! I maintain a watchful eye on the whole quarter billion of you in the U.S.A., and I’ve seen millions upon millions of you pay for sex or a little oral satisfaction. Rarely, though, do I see someone so perverted as to pay their own money to participate in the giving end. Well, to be fair, it’s your money, as he’s your representative. Maybe that makes it all the more ironic though - this guy is actively engaged in bilking you out of your hard-earned money, and he’s spending it on a quest to chow down on another man’s little man. Dad is really funny sometimes!

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