James Dobson wants more airtime

Posted by Jesus on May 18, 2007

“Look at who I’m not voting for! Look at who I won’t elect!” James Dobson has come out and testified to his inability to vote for Giuliani because of the former mayor’s support for abortion, homosexuality, and his failed marriages. Hooray. I mean it’s an admirable position, but really, everybody already knows not to vote for him. Dobson’s a smart enough guy to know that Dad won’t let Giuliani win, so why would he even need to come out and quack about it?

For attention, that’s why. Here’s a guy who has millions of listeners and brings in loads of cash in advertising and endorsements. Unlike my friend Jerry Falwell, Dobson has never made the connection between homosexuality and 9/11. Unlike my friend Pat Robertson, Dobson has never connected Hurricane Katrina to abortion. And when did you hear him talk about the link between abortion and breast cancer? You didn’t, that’s when. All Dobson has in the chamber is family and civil matters, and he fires these bullets of boredom over and over again, right into the faces of the very people he’s charged to bring closer to God. Why? Because that’s where the easy money is.

• You want help raising your kids? Beat them into submission. Fear works.
• You need a hand holding a marriage together? Beat your wife into submission. Fear works.
• Looking to teach your family about morals and responsibility? Show them that they must fear God.

There, I’ve essentially replaced the whole of Focus on the Family in three short lines. Now, Mr. Dobson, since you’ve finally decided to get up and take some interest in politics and morality how about let’s you and I discuss your future. I’ll be in the office all afternoon, give me a call and I’ll give you some insight into the election. We can use your voice, and for more than just raking in dough. We’ve got plenty of local offices that keep the cash coming in.

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