Bush’s new anti-fag policy

Posted by Jesus on June 3, 2007

I’m sure none of you really follow politics out there. You’re generally not smart enough to follow God, so why would you take an interest in the well-being of your nation? Is it any wonder I have to partner up with such nasty and spineless sinners as Rove to make sure the right people get elected? How many of you knew that Bush had nominated a new Surgeon General? How many of you knew he was even looking?

The new Surgeon General nominee for the Bush team is James Holsinger, a Christian. And not just any Christian, a very anti-gay Christian. So the top medical voice in the nation is likely to soon be a man who hates homosexuality. Not only that, Holsinger founded Hope Springs Community Church, where he counseled and attempted to cure gay people. How could this get any better? He hates the disease but wants to help the people who have it. I envision an America where gay people are detected while in school, long before they can do any societal damage, and placed into gender realignment counseling. Now that is an America to be proud of!

What we’re all about here at openjesus.org is reminding you all that life is all about doing what I would do. James here is doing exactly that. God has made it abundantly clear that homosexuality is very wrong, even bringing to bear things like AIDS and Rent to make His point. So if I was there I’d hate homosexuality and would do whatever was necessary to make sure everyone else understood and hated it too. That doesn’t mean that the fags themselves should be hated though. No, they should be cured of their disease, and their former selves should be hated instead. That’s how I would do it, which is why Bush is nominating James Holsinger to the one position in America which has the power to institute such a policy. It’s the next best thing to having me in the position!

Today is Sunday, so of course I’m handing out an award. The winner of today’s Jesus Jackpot is James Holsinger for his gay-curing program and its upcoming ascension to a federally-mandated gay-curing program!

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