Another preacher wins

Posted by Jesus on April 15, 2007

In a throwback to the first ever Jesus Jackpot, I thought today I’d honor a preacher doing something new and innovative in the realm of ministry. Much like Rev. Patrick and his beer church, the subject of today’s Jackpot opened a specialty church which has grown and has begun doing great work. It’s a story about triumph in the face of a changing society, perseverance in a time of confusion, and male domination in a world becoming more wimpy and feminized by the day.

Mike Ellis, the founder of this men-only church, preaches in a different manner than most. He talks about issues dealing with men in a coaching, supportive way. He has the ability to talk frankly about women by virtue of their not being present. His movement is gaining steam, and it has gotten some recognition from the press to boost it even more. I figure the only thing this church needs now is a little support from me and it’ll be well on its way to establishing once again the expected behavior and stance of a church.

From the article:

No hymnals. No pews. No steeple. No stained glass windows. And no women.

The Church For Men flips around the look and feel of worship and its leader says thats a good thing - guys are bored stiff in many churches today.

We try to make it interesting for them. We meet in a gym and we talk about issues that mess men up, said 46-year-old Mike Ellis, the church’s founder.

These guys have it all right. Hymnals, pews, candles, dressing up, dancing, speaking in tongues, rolling around in convulsions, sacrifice - all things which can be brought or used in church, but also all things which are not regularly required in the church. Women, however, that’s another story altogether. Although you in America continue to push this equal society, we here in Heaven are standing by our original statements. Women should be relegated to learning only from men, should not speak in church, and should hold positions in the church. Although Mike Ellis and his congregation are holding men-only meetings for completely different reasons, they are still very much in the right. If you can’t keep your women quiet in church, then you’ll have to form a church where they’re not allowed. Since Mike and company seem to be the only ones getting it, he’s going to get a free pass to Heaven. You can whine all you want about freedom and equality, but the same book you claim to follow suggests - or rather mandates - that slaves are still viable and women shouldn’t have equal rights. You can be a Christian or a feminist, but not both.

Of course there’s more to Mike’s church than just excluding women though. They meet monthly on a basketball court, with a 15-minute timer used to ensure that the sermons are kept short. Dress is casual, and there’s none of that wimpy crying and hugging and mucking about. These folks have a rock band, which I generally frown upon but in this case will overlook, real male to male outreach, and an overall mission to de-wimp the Christian movement. If you people are going to be the warriors that I need you to be in the coming years I’m going to need more churches like this to pop up.

So although he’s not teaching men how to control their women, Mike’s male-only outreach is something I’m completely behind. For that reason, he’s getting the Jackpot today. Perhaps someday he’ll come around to the true teaching of the Old Testament and recognize that his new and edgy form of church is to a great extent exactly what we wanted practiced from The Beginning. I know it hurts women to think about it, but Dad really does have a hierarchy, and men really do come first. You can all hem and haw all you want about how Dad would rather see equality and how fairness was Dad’s initial prospect on Earth, but you’d all be wrong, and moreover you’d all be going to Hell for both being wrong and living that wrongness in your individual lives. The middle ground, it seems, is to start a man-only church for other purposes than to be a man-only church. It appears that such really is the only way to keep from ticking off the unbelievers who claim to be a part of your own and maintaining a church where Dad will actually listen. I suppose the choice is really up to you though. I mean you men, it’s up to the men. That’s what I meant. Men.

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