A generation of believers

Posted by Jesus on April 22, 2007

It’s that time again, fellow beings of God’s creation! Today, just as every Sunday before, I am going to give out the ultimate award to some lucky and highly favored individual. This week the Jesus Jackpot goes to someone very special, a man who has been considered week in and week out for the award. That he’s finally won after so many weeks of being bested by others has nothing to do with his being inadequate or his acts being any less deserving of recognition or reward, it simply means that his time hadn’t come…until today!

The Jackpot this week goes to a man who is instrumental in discovering and grooming the next generation of God Warriors through his traveling rallies. He gathers swarms of teenagers looking for direction and gives them what they need to be happy and fulfilled in life - a big dose of Jesus! The man I’m talking about is, of course, Ron Luce of BattleCry Ministries. He’s been written about over and over again, and each week we consider him for the award, but we’ve been afraid that after learning of his admittance into Heaven no matter what he does Ron might quit trying so hard to shape and pattern the young people he meets into fundamentalist, God-fearing, homosexual-hating Jesus-Soldiers. Given his status as one of the top creators of fundamentalist teenage Christians, we are very concerned with his continuing his ministry. After a long and bitter discussion this morning we’ve decided to place the Jackpot award where it is due and let Ron decide for himself how to live out the rest of his time on Earth. Besides, Dad chimed in and said he wouldn’t change, so in reality there’s no danger. It’s just good to be sure.

From the article:

“The media is just cramming garbage down their throat. It is absolutely immoral. I wish it was illegal, but the whole idea is we have people making money, not caring what they are doing, what they are doing to kids,” said Ron Luce, the founder of BattleCry.

Charlotte Rose Hamilton attended her first BattleCry event last year, and the 18-year-old said it changed her life. “When I came to San Francisco last year my life was just a downward spiral I was depressed, I was having sex, doing drugs, like, it was bad, and when I came to the BattleCry event, it changed my life,” Hamilton said.

You see that, America? There’s an example, right there in black and white, of a kid who was absolutely going to go to Hell before and has now turned her life around and will now only probably go to Hell. From definite to probable in one rally, and she still has the rest of her life to bring that grade around to plausible or likely. That’s a major change, especially for someone so young. Ron’s group is right, the commercialization of sin has become a major factor in the decisions made by our younger generation, a fact which carries with it a sure rise in the Damnation Level when such a generation becomes prominent in the nation’s decisions. How do you think Congress is going to vote regarding abstinence-only sex education when it’s comprised of men and women who fornicated regularly in their teenage years? What are the laws going to look like when enforced by judges who spent important developmental years drunk at a party? What will the landscape of America look like when Dad and I are gone and all that remains is logic, science, and your supposed reason? This is the reality of your future unless your children are indoctrinated and educated about the only possible salvation - fundamentalist Christian living.

More from the article:

A 45-year-old married father of three, Luce began his youth ministry, known as Teen Mania, 20 years ago.

“It’s a battle, it’s a very real battle, it’s a spiritual battle for their heart and soul, so we tell them about how they can come close to the Lord, but it is also a cultural war, and essentially we live in a Christian country with a very un-Christian culture,” Luce said.

There are of course a number of ministries focused on teenagers, many ofwhich are absolutely fantastic in their abilities. Given time, they will likely all be honored here at some point or another. Luce’s organization differs in some important ways though, which is why he’s getting the free pass today. His is one of the few which recognizes the inherent issues in your culture today, a point I’ve been attempting to drive home every day now for a couple of months. So very many of you seem to think that what you’re doing is going to get you past the Gates, and so very many of you are wrong. Luce has a better grasp of this fact, and is doing his very best to inform teenagers of their responsibilities in such a culture. He knows that literally 100% of the teenagers who attend his rallies are going to go to Hell given their current state. With time and a large dose of Jesus these same teenagers might be able to bring the number down as low as 98% or even 97%, a win no matter how you look at it. Those percentages aren’t generally met even by the most devout of churches, so to come to such a point with teenagers really is a coup.

Even more from the article:

One teen, 16-year-old Anthony Orsillo, is fighting his own battle against homosexuality.

“I turned away from my lifestyle - I took Jesus into my heart. I do not believe you can be a homosexual and go to heaven. There is redemption for us,” Orsillo said.

I’m sure a few of you recognize the profound implications of this little block of text. Here is proof of a teenager confused by the demand of society that some teenagers be homosexual, and moreover proof that such an affliction can be remedied in a Christian setting. Anthony is totally correct in his understanding of Heaven, he could not under any circumstances get here without giving up completely his false and sinful homosexual lifestyle. You can thank Ron Luce and his extremely dedicated staff for making this point clear to the young teen, who has also seen his prospects for Heaven increase by a full order of magnitude since giving up such a filthy part of his life.

So there it is, your latest Jackpot winner. To Ron Luce, Heaven says keep up the good work, maintain your focus and dedication, and make sure to say hello to Noah when you get here - he’s been pulling for you up here for several weeks now.

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