Another “Devil made him do it” story
Posted by Jesus on May 20, 2007
Today’s Jesus Jackpot goes to a woman who tells it like it is. How many of you remember that story a while back about the lady microwaving her baby? Recently Joshua Royce Mauldin did the same to his daughter, severely burning the infant. There’s a twist though, and a pretty major one. Joshua is studying to be a shepherd, a minister in my flock. Of course Satan doesn’t want what would otherwise be a solid force for good in a community undertaking such a task, so the Devil himself obviously talked this young man into putting the child in the microwave. Obviously.
There are exactly six hundred trillion billion thousand, nine hundred and seventy two reasons to believe in God. Moses and I spent most of our Sabbath yesterday in a little boat out on my private pond pondering them all, and from our discussion came a list. I won’t bore you with the details. Here we go!
“Look at who I’m not voting for! Look at who I won’t elect!” James Dobson has come out and testified to his inability to 
According to 
Dad and I were sitting up late last night talking about some things, and He mentioned wanting to put together a big music festival for Christians. Since the Holy Spirit has been to a few we asked her what she would like to see in one planned and executed by God Himself. Although most of her answers were dodgy and a little difficult to work into The Plan - she wanted to see a lot more writhing on the ground while speaking in tongues, for instance - some of her points were very well taken. Better and cheaper food, she suggested, would keep the masses from leaving over what might well end up being several weeks of music. Perfect weather, which she indicated might actually
Hi folks! I’ve come home! A few hours ago I was standing in my office talking to God about my future and He kept saying something about “the righteous now,” then the next thing I knew I was standing at a little door. There were a bunch of angels hanging about, along with Jesus, Mary Magdalene, a monkey (who later turned out to be God!), and Anna Nicole Smith. I asked them “where are Saint Peter and the big Gates?”
You’ve probably heard by now, Jerry Falwell is 
We had a huge BBQ last night at Dad’s place up on the hill. Man, does He know how to throw down! Spirit’s back, and He’s so happy at her return that he called an all-hands party. This is the guy who invented the story of the prodigal son, you’ll recall. The party was bigger than the one He threw when I came home, but only because there are more people in Heaven now than there were before. Of course mine lasted a year and a day, so in reality I won. Mom always wanted a daughter, but Dad needed a son.
There are some stories which are sad even to God. Stop and think about the relevance of anything He chooses to do which could sadden Him. We’re talking about God, who can do pretty much anything He pleases, and still He chooses to enforce rules which sometimes make Him sad. It’s rather profound when you think about it. There’s a story today which presents us a 
One can determine the temperament of one’s enemies by reading their war manual. The Bible speaks of peace and passivity; my own life on your planet was punctuated by a death which was not resisted. Muslims live by a completely different system, one which is deadly and dangerous. Our story begins at a small church, where Rev. Gary Murrell has decided to 