Somebody tried to scam Jesus!
Posted by Jesus on May 31, 2007
I got a telephone call today in my office, which in and of itself is kind of weird. My phone never really rings, so it took me a minute to find it and answer. When I finally did I was notified that “due to the changing laws I should be notified about domain changes” and asked for my fax number so that a company called Domain Registry Support could send me some data. Instead of giving them my number, however, I saved the nice lady’s soul on the other end of the phone. That got me thinking…
There’s a neat little story over at 
Man, if anyone skipped Wednesday services to watch the Stanley Cup game tonight consider yourself forgiven. That was one heck of a display in each and every way. The goalies were spot-on, the hits were brutal, and the thanking of me was spectacular following the goal! If I’m missing again over the next week or so part of the reason will be the playoffs.
I’m sorry I’ve been a little busy lately. I just picked up a mean new processor and board, and for the last couple of days I’ve been tweaking Ubuntu and just relaxing. Yesterday I was going to write you all a little something about sex, but I’ve also been a little overwhelmed by the death of those 
There’s a reason people get so worked up over sports. Within every organization, be it public, private, or government-run, there is corruption. The world is a completely and utterly unfair place, where politicians are usually elected based on lies and teeth whiteness and, once in power, prove themselves absolute scumbags by doing literally nothing that doesn’t put money in their pockets. Business executives flat-out ignore the fact that many of their products come with a toll in human lives because of the payday. Even the U.S. Federal Government, the most powerful organization on the planet Earth, is so corrupt that its citizens will likely find themselves starving, destitute, and under attack from pretty much everyone else on the planet within only a few decades. Not to worry, though, the people who actually run the corporatocracy made something like 94% of all of the money last year. When all hell breaks loose they’ll all take in as many of you as they can to ensure that no one really, you know, starves to death because of their corruption.
You know, if I really could choose who I wanted to win American Idol I’d put Taylor on top again. He’s my favorite of all-time. In any case, I don’t really know who’s going to win tonight. Dad’s being really secretive about the whole thing. Big surprise, He says.
Just wanted to follow up on a little thing I 
I just wanted to clear something up, since a lot of you have prayed in about it in the last few days. If you’ve gotten a telephone call or a message from the Awards and Claims Center or from 866-405-2179 please follow the instructions left on your recorder and call the person back at the number left for you. These people are indeed telemarketers, but they’ve been hired by Heaven to try to save your souls. Sure, they’re claiming that you’ve won a Cadillac or a flat screen TV or some cash or a trip, but in reality you’ve won something much, much better. You just have to call back!
Thanks to Richard Nerra, who prayed in earlier to tell me about Paris Hilton’s latest 
God and I have been talking a lot since I came to Heaven, and with Jesus being personally deployed to Iran to handle a couple of messes I’ve been asked to come and say some things to all of you. He didn’t say what to write about though, so I’m going to touch on some things that were important to me during my time with all of you. I’ve been watching the build-up to my funeral, which is scheduled to begin in just 